The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
