I puked a lego.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
