did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
