i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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