Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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