am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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