i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
