did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
