His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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