Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
