im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
