Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
