The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
worst night to have a conscience
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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