So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
