he wants to bone in the snuggie
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
