lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I need help removing her.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
