thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
No subtext here. People are naked.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
