My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
