And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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