Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
