apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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