we're blogging at a bar
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
