clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
