Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
