I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
