eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
