i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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