Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
