I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
