pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
