So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
