I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
