I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
