Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
