"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
