Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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