I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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