Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
