3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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