"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
