she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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