Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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