You're a womanizer and a bitch.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
