that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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