You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
