I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
