Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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