In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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