we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
