I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
